How to communicate when you don't speak the language

How to Communicate When You Don't Speak the Language

In preparation to my vacation to Japan, I had every intention to learn Japanese. I got the audio book, Learn Japanese with Paul Noble, (which I totally recommend the Paul Noble series to learn any language). I was coming along in my Japanese lessons quite well until my heart gave out and I had a three-day hospital stay due to congestive heart failure. For some reason my body and my mind just wasn't working and all of what I learned dissipated. Regardless, I was determined to go to and enjoy my trip to Japan.

I got there and enjoyed one of the best vacations ever. However, I was nervous to go to a foreign country only knowing a few basic words of the language. I found Japan to be very English friendly and most people especially the younger populace speak English in addition to their native Japanese.

When I was staying at a ryokan (hotel) in Hakone (a city inside Japan’s golden triangle—Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto), I made a point to enjoy all the amenities this ryokan had to offer. Senkyoro is one of the oldest ryokans in the area and has natural mineral springs. Although my room had a stone tub that funneled the mineral water into my room, I wanted to experience the natural mineral baths for myself.

In many of these baths, they are separated for men, women and family use. With that, there are strict rules—no clothing allowed. In some baths tattoos aren't allowed because of gang associations. However, the tattoo rules are softening.

At any rate, I was in the bath for about an hour. All of my muscles were relaxed, and my body and mind were in a state of homeostasis. I decided to get out of the bath and into the shower. An attractive woman about 15 to 20 years older than me walked to show me which products were shampoo, conditioner and body wash. I had already figured it out, but I bowed and thanked her for her help.

The lady got into the bath and was thoroughly enjoying her time in the water. She was muttering and even moaning as the minerals penetrated her body. I felt a bit uncomfortable so I quickened my pace, but she was out by the time I was drying off.

She stood in front of me, waiting for me to finish showering and I motioned to the shower letting her know it was available. I said, “So good,” and the conversation began. We stood facing each other with each of us holding only a towel to shield our naked bodies. But as we spoke, our nakedness was no longer an issue.

She spoke very little English, and I spoke less Japanese. However, through pantomiming, gestures, eye contact, bowing and using the language we knew, the two of us grew friendly quite quickly.

I learned she had two daughters and three granddaughters. She was visiting from a small suburb outside Tokyo. I was able to convey my trip through the golden triangle and that I was from the Seattle area in the United States. I also was able to communicate with her about how much I loved Japan and that I was so grateful to visit her great country. I also expressed how I really wanted to come back to her beautiful country. She was so pleased with how I was in love with Japan, we continue to bow and talk. By the time we finished our time together, we were hugging and laughing.

I will treasure that moment forever. I made a genuinely friendly connection with a total stranger despite not speaking her language. This reinforces why I travel. Yes, we all want our vacations for relaxation and to get away. But I also travel to learn about cultures, history and cuisine. Most importantly, I travel to expand my humanity. Japan was a great place to do that. I met lots of strangers I connected with in Japan. Though I was fully clothed when talking to everyone.

Remember, communication is less verbal and more body language. It is said communication is a formula of 55/38/7. Body language 55%, 38% through tone of voice and only 7% through spoken word.

I absolutely recommend you learn the language before going to any foreign country that does not speak your language. But don't get locked into knowing the language as much as having a positive attitude. Yes, you will make mistakes learning the culture (Learn the Culture Before You Go, But You Will Make Mistakes), but remember, just like you, most people are forgiving and understand the frustrations of learning a new language. Be open, be friendly, and most important, be willing to try. You could make a new friend without having a stitch of clothing on!

Senkyoro was the ryokan I stayed at

Pictures of the room

The stone tub funneled in the mineral water from the natural hot spring

Another shot from the room

The mineral bath where I met my new friend as I was completely naked

Me in my robe provided by the ryokan