Get The Gumption and Solo Travel!

Get the gumption to Solo Travel!

There’s something exciting about the idea of solo travel. You can go where you want, eat where you want, change your plans without asking anyone, and spend an entire afternoon doing something nobody else in your life would find remotely interesting.

It also sounds a lot easier when you’re sitting safely at home thinking about it.

Actually booking the trip? Walking into a restaurant alone? Getting on a plane knowing there won’t be anyone traveling beside you? That can feel very different.

If you’ve dreamed about traveling solo but keep finding reasons not to do it, you don’t necessarily need to become fearless. You may just need a little practice—and enough gumption to take that first step.

I learned that long before I thought of myself as a solo traveler.

For one of my past jobs, I was an auditor and a floater for all of California. I traveled Monday through Friday and could be anywhere in California from one week to the next. Part of my job was planning my own travel, setting up my hotels, getting myself to each location, and figuring things out along the way.

California is a huge state, and that job took me to places many people who had lived there their entire lives had never visited.

Without realizing it, I was learning how to travel solo.

I learned to be efficient. I learned how to handle problems when there wasn’t another person standing beside me to solve them. I learned how to navigate unfamiliar places and trust myself to figure things out.

And I learned something else that surprised me:

I loved it.

That doesn’t mean everyone has to jump straight from never traveling alone to spending two weeks wandering around Europe. You can build your solo-travel confidence gradually.

In fact, I think that’s one of the best ways to do it.

Start With Baby Steps

Trying something new takes courage, especially when fear has had plenty of time to convince you that staying home is easier.

So don’t start with a two-week international vacation.

Start with Tuesday afternoon.

Have you ever gone to the movies alone? What about sitting down in a restaurant and ordering a meal just for yourself?

For some people, those things are completely normal. For others, the idea is surprisingly uncomfortable.

That’s okay. The whole point is to practice being comfortable in your own company.

Take yourself to a movie. Get the popcorn you like. Sit wherever you want. Nobody cares that you’re there alone nearly as much as you think they do.

Next, try a restaurant. Put down the phone for at least part of the meal. Look around. Enjoy your food. People-watch. Bring a book if you want one.

You’re not waiting for someone else to join you.

You’re taking yourself out.

That small shift in thinking matters.

Every time you do something independently, you give yourself a little more evidence that you can handle the next thing too.

If you’re just beginning to think about traveling by yourself, read I’m Over 50 and Want to Travel Alone—Where Do I Start? It walks you through those early questions that can make the idea of your first solo trip feel overwhelming.

Practice Solo Travel Close to Home

Once spending a few hours alone feels comfortable, make the experiment a little bigger.

My article, Get Out There and Practice Travel will give you tips on how to start your solo travel journey and help give you the confidence to build up to that great solo vacation you have been dreaming of.

You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars or travel across the country to learn what kind of traveler you are. Take a short local trip instead.

Book one night at a hotel an hour or two from home. Visit a town you’ve always wondered about. Go to a winery, museum, state park, beach, festival, or another place in your region you’ve never taken the time to explore.

Then pay attention to yourself.

Do you like having an itinerary, or does that make you feel rushed? Do you enjoy eating breakfast at the hotel and getting an early start, or would you rather sleep late? Do you want several activities in one day, or one activity followed by plenty of downtime?

Those are valuable things to know before you spend a lot of money on a bigger vacation.

A practice trip also gives you experience making decisions on your own in a relatively low-pressure situation. If something doesn’t go according to plan, you’re close enough to home that it doesn’t have to feel like a catastrophe.

You’re learning.

Eventually, that little overnight trip may become a weekend trip. The weekend may become a week. And one day you may realize that the trip you once thought was too intimidating doesn’t seem nearly as impossible anymore.

That’s how confidence grows.

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Solo Doesn’t Mean You Have to Do Everything Alone

This is something I wish more people understood.

Solo travel means you are responsible for your trip. It doesn’t mean you have to spend every second by yourself.

You can travel alone and take a guided tour. You can join a group excursion. You can hire a local guide. You can meet people along the way and spend part of your trip with them.

You can also decide that today you want company and tomorrow you’d rather explore by yourself.

You get to choose.

In fact, a group tour can be an excellent bridge for someone who wants the independence of solo travel without having to figure out every detail of a major trip alone.

That’s exactly what I did in Scotland.

How a Tour Helped Me Travel Solo in Scotland

I had wanted to visit Scotland for more than 30 years.

When I finally planned the trip, I allotted two weeks of my four-week European vacation to Scotland. I planned the rest of my European trip myself, but I didn’t want to spend my time in Scotland worrying about driving on the opposite side of the road, navigating unfamiliar roads, or trying to find every destination on my own.

I wanted to experience Scotland, not spend half the trip stressed about logistics.

So I went to my friend and travel agent, Lynne Padilla lpadilla@dvtravelgroup.com, and she suggested a tour. I signed up with CIE Tours.

It turned out to be one of the smartest choices I made on that vacation.

The coach was comfortable and well maintained. Our guide was friendly and knowledgeable, and our driver knew the roads. Instead of worrying about how I was going to get from one place to another, I could look out the window and actually enjoy where I was.

The major details were taken care of.

My luggage was handled. The hotels were comfortable. We stayed near the places we were visiting, and I wasn’t spending my evenings trying to figure out what I needed to do the following morning.

That doesn’t mean everything on a group tour is necessarily included. Depending on the company and itinerary, travelers may still pay for some meals, gratuities, souvenirs, optional excursions, or other expenses. Always check exactly what is and isn’t included before booking.

But for me, having the major logistics handled gave me something incredibly valuable:

I could relax and enjoy being there.

Me at a ruined castle in St. Andrews, Scotland, on my CIE tour.

My hotel overlooking the ocean in St. Andrews, Scotland, during my CIE tour.

But Aren’t Group Tours Mostly Couples?

That thought crossed my mind too.

A large percentage of the people on my tour were couples in their 60s and 70s. I was also the only African American traveler and the only person technically traveling solo.

But I wasn’t actually the only woman there without a partner.

There were six single women traveling together on the tour.

And despite being different from many of the other travelers in the group, I made friends with people. We talked. We laughed. We experienced Scotland together.

I never felt like I didn’t belong there.

That’s an important lesson because sometimes we talk ourselves out of experiences before we’ve even had them.

Everyone will be a couple.

I’ll be the only person alone.

People will think it’s strange.

I won’t fit in.

Maybe you’ll arrive somewhere and discover that you are different from most of the people around you.

So what?

You came to see Scotland.

Go see Scotland.

Don’t let an imaginary version of what might happen keep you from experiencing something you’ve wanted to do for years.

Learn How to Keep Yourself Safe

Confidence is important, but confidence doesn’t mean ignoring common sense.

When you travel alone, you’re the person responsible for paying attention to your surroundings, protecting your belongings, knowing how you’re getting back to your hotel, and recognizing when something doesn’t feel right.

You don’t need to become frightened of everything around you. You just need to develop good habits.

Before your trip, learn about your destination. Know how you’ll get around. Keep important information accessible. Pay attention to where you are. And give yourself permission to leave a situation that makes you uncomfortable.

I cover more of those practical strategies in Solo Travel—Safety on the Road, including ways to prepare without allowing fear to take over your vacation.

Preparation gives you options.

Fear tells you to stay home.

Those aren’t the same thing.

What If Something Goes Wrong?

Something eventually will.

Maybe you’ll miss a turn. Maybe the restaurant you planned to visit will be closed. Maybe the weather will ruin your plans. Maybe you’ll get on the wrong train, forget something at the hotel, or simply have a day when you’re tired and don’t feel like doing what you planned.

That isn’t proof that you shouldn’t travel alone.

That’s travel.

People traveling with partners, families, and tour groups have things go wrong too. The difference when you’re solo is that you learn how capable you are of making the next decision yourself.

Sometimes the solution will be easy. Sometimes you’ll need to ask for help.

Asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a solo traveler.

Knowing when you need it is part of traveling smarter.

You Don’t Have to Become a Fearless Solo Traveler

I don’t think the goal should be to become fearless.

Sometimes nerves are useful. They make us double-check things. They remind us to pay attention. They make us think before we act.

The goal is to stop letting fear make every decision for you.

You can be nervous and still book the hotel.

You can feel awkward and still walk into the restaurant.

You can wonder whether you’ll fit in and still get on the tour bus.

And you can arrive somewhere you’ve dreamed about for 30 years and realize:

I actually did it.

That’s the kind of confidence you can’t get just from reading about solo travel.

You get it by doing it.

Start small. Take yourself somewhere. Learn what you like. Learn what you don’t like. Make a mistake or two and figure out how to fix them.

Then go a little farther next time.

You don’t need anybody’s permission to see the world.

And you certainly don’t have to wait for somebody else to be ready before you start living your own life.

Get there your way.

Ready to Take Your First Step?

You don’t have to start with Scotland.

Start with lunch.

Start with a movie.

Start with that little town you’ve driven past a hundred times and always wondered about.

The destination isn’t really the first step.

Deciding you’re worth taking somewhere is.

Join The Single, Sick & Broke Traveler for practical solo-travel advice, budget-friendly ideas, checklists, and encouragement for travelers who want to make travel work for their body, their budget, and their life.

Keep Reading

I’m Over 50 and Want to Travel Alone—Where Do I Start?
For anyone who wants to travel alone but isn’t sure how to begin.

Solo Travel—Safety on the Road
Practical ways to protect yourself and travel with more confidence.

Get Out There and Practice Travel
Start close to home and build the skills and confidence for bigger adventures.

Explore more Solo Travel
Visit the Solo Travel section of The Single, Sick & Broke Traveler for more ideas, advice, and encouragement.

The Single, Sick & Broke Traveler

Travel stories for the brave and budget-conscious.

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nessa@singlesickbroketraveler.com

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